I have never been one to embrace a stereo type. Growing up, I made fun of people who lumped themselves into a group like jock, prep and so on. I took pride in the fact that I could wear what I wanted and act like I wanted and fit in wherever I saw fit. Well… The past four years, I have been on a journey of self discovery. Before that, I was jumbled.
I lived in a house that looked like a bachelor pad and didn’t have much beauty around because my style had no rhythm.
I felt chaotic and my home and style reflected as much. Four years ago, I used our tax return to change our space into something beautiful. Our small 787sqft house turned into a cozy home starting at that point in time.
By the time we sold our tiny house a year ago, it was beautiful. Both my husband and me were proud of what we turned it into.
Also at that time I went shopping for clothing that reflected who I was instead of whatever I could find that was warm. My uniform for a long time was blue jeans and a zip up black fleece. Mostly because I was always cold and second because I had no style and no confidence to choose one. My personal style has been difficult. In the past four years I have birthed three babies. I have been a stay at home mom so I don’t have “work clothes” that need to stay nice. My clothes have all been play clothes that get dirty quickly and I have gone up and down in size so many times that my wardrobe changes constantly. Now, within the past few months I have landed on a style I like and will stick with I believe. I have finally discovered who I am and can therefore place boundaries around my style. Healthy ones that make life easier, not controlling ones that limit what I love. This style will be built in the next few years as my body changes and I have time to shop.
I have also decided to embrace the term “crunchy.” I eat organic where ever possible, feed my kids food according to their blood type, try to make everything from scratch (which doesn’t always happen). I limit sugar and promote healthy eating habits. We drink water, not bottled juice. Never soda and I’m trying to eliminate cane sugar… haven’t achieved that yet. Since being pregnant and having my now five month old baby, I was giving my self excuses about what I was eating. I was relying on my food to make me feel good emotionally. I knew in my brain that the food was going to hinder my emotions, but I wanted that instant good feeling. When I eat sugar, it tastes good, but I get angry when I eat sugar. Suddenly I feel claustrophobic and cannot handle any sort of chaos. Which is life with five kids. When I eat simple carbohydrates I get inflamed almost immediately. I know my trigger foods for the most part, but I have continued to eat them. Now I feel the effects in my joints. I know how to fix it… I just haven’t done it because I want comfort from my food. It isn’t worth it and I am going to stop and get strict on my diet again.
Since I can remember we have used natural products for cleaning in our home. Until a year ago when we moved. Our landlord left a bunch of products that I had never used before in the house along with instructions on how to clean everything. I started using them at that point because they were there. I used Palmolive dish soap, bleach, windex, other stainless steel and tile & grout cleaners… It was a big change and I just let it happen. I have recently cleaned out our cupboards and am replacing all of these products with ones that are safe for our skin again. Things I have noticed in this past year of using chemicals have been changes in our skin, my skin has aged a lot this year and we have been dealing with more fungal infections. We have been sick almost non-stop this year and never had that issue in the house we lived in before. The kids emotions have been on a level we never saw before too. Now we don’t use bleach in our home or windex or other main stream cleaners, we use ones that are actually good for our bodies. I want to wash a toilet seat and feel comfortable with my children immediately sitting down on the newly cleaned toilet without being worried about the caustic substance touching their skin. Our skin is our body’s largest organ. Did you know that your skin is one of the places where our bodies take in oxygen? Not just from our mouth and nose. Our skin absorbs what touches it. Would you put bleach in your mouth? Then you shouldn’t put it on your skin. I realize that most people use gloves when they use bleach, but you can’t glove your nose. I guess you could use a face mask, but then what? You use it on a surface and then it smells like bleach in your home. You will inevitably breath it in. I can barely walk through the cleaning isle at a grocery store because I can feel the chemicals burning through my nostrils. So many cleaning supplies including skin and hair care contain hormone disruptors, carcinogens and preservatives that should never touch our bodies.
Toxic chemicals are not the only form of toxicity that we have to keep away from our lives. Toxic thoughts can cause a lot of damage too. I have struggled with loving myself for a long time. I used to speak things over my life that were not true about my worth, my contribution to society and how I was received by my peers. I have been learning how important words are in every facet of my life.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. –Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)
How are you feeding your mind? are you telling yourself how wonderful you are? Are you convinced that you are enough and your unique qualities are a benefit to society and actually an element that was put in you for a reason when you were created?
This subject is extremely important to me. It’s like a song I used to know when I was a kid.
Input, output, what goes in is what comes out.
Input, output, that is what it’s all about.
Input, output, your mind is a computer whose
Input, output, daily you must choose.
-Colby, the Computer
It’s a body, mind and spirit package. We chose what we put in and on our bodies, In our minds and how we feed our spirit. I am learning so much about who I am in the Lord and what is important. If feeding the desires of my flesh was my goal, I would be eating ice cream and chocolate constantly. I wouldn’t care about what products I use because I wouldn’t choose to face the effect on my body. But I do care. I don’t want to complain about aches and pains as I eat inflammation inducing foods. I don’t want to complain about sickness and hormonal imbalance while using products that cause that kind of response. I am responsible for what I put in or on my body and mind. Whatever I choose causes a specific response. I can’t blame anyone else for the condition of my body or the state of my emotions. It’s on me.
Today, right now, I choose to liberate myself from these issues. The results may not be immediate, but they will come. I will make bad choices I’m sure and will suffer the consequences, but I will get back up and keep going. The bad choices will be fewer as time goes on. Will you consider doing the same? Health is freedom. I really like freedom. It’s kind of really great.